Bristol! Gwar! Teresa's new hair! Dub from Atlantis DJ - I'm feeling a bit of reggae at the moment. London! Gwar again for the second night running! Tamsin! Jon Monie was over from Paris. Saturday, Manchester park. Check the Heroin site for some video. It actually rained hail onto us in this cafe place near Fos' parents. The roof split open during this downpour and we had to switch tables, I haven't laughed that much in ages. Click the picture to see Seth get rained on. My package from Nuclear War Now finally came. It's been nearly 3 weeks and I was starting to get worried - $100 worth of records is not the kind of thing I like to lose in the post! Especially when it's a few as good as these!!! Bestial Raids 7" plus Goatlord, Proclamation and Death Yell die-hard editions with all kinds of bonus stickers, patches, posters and stuff. I'm nerding out so hard on these today I'll be intolerable when French gets home.
Yoooo!! It's time to bake some muthafucka up in this piece again kid!! WHUT?!?! I'm a cook up some marvellous shit to get your mouth waterin', know what I'm sayin'? I ain't even got the right tools fo' tha job but I ain't shook kid - I'm a mix it up in this saucepan right here yo. That's some gangsta shit - mixing in pans not bowls nigga! Ain't nobody sayin' it ain't real in my kitchen son! I don't even got no whisk! Check the fork god! Strictly speakin' you shouldn't get high on your own supply but I can't help but sample the merchandise before I move it on the streets kid. You get the cake mix and some of that frosting on the same fork and it's like BOOM! Taste explosion, know what i'm sayin? That's me right there bitch, next to the mix. I ain't scared of showin' my face yo, when the gods made you pretty you gots to let the world see you, know what i'm sayin? There's some ugly ass niggas out there - you should be hyped I was born yo! Yo, yo, check it out - CHOCOLATE CHIPS all up in there too son! This is gonna be some sickly shit yo. Even though this is gonna be some east coast cake I still got love for my homies in Cali son. Yo, it's time to get the mix into the oven son, I'm a watch some videos while it bakes yo!
Yo, that's my icing gun son, kinda reminds me of when me and my niggas used to bomb trains back when it was all so simple. One love to all my sons in the bing yo, Riker's Island, San Quentin, boom. YOOOOO! That shit rose yo! Against all odds too. I be hyped. The chocolate fudge frosting was easier to spread than a nigga thought son. That shit's way more malleable than it seems at first, it cracked under pressure yo. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about - a mothafuckin' sandwich dogg! Looks like some flying saucer shit, i'm a space-age, cake-cookin', strap-packin' mothafucka MOTHAFUCKA! Normally the 'C' represents my niggas in The Crips but today I'm throwin' that shit up fo' tha chocolate know what I'm sayin'? Yo! I done melted that shit all over the cake god! WHUT!?! It's melted into the frosting and given that crazy marble effect shit yo! Yo, I'm a icing genius dogg! You wait for the finale son - it's gonna blow your whole shit up! YOOOOO!!!! I told you this was some east coast shit son! Check the icing!!! WU-TANG CAKES AIN'T NUTHIN' TO FUCK WIT!!!! Respect to my nigga 'Dirty, shake and bake kid! Cakes rule everything around me!!
Yo, this shit wouldn't have been half as gangsta without the influence of my nigga Brunch, the whole of the St. Matthews estate here in Bricktown, the niggas on the corner by KFC and the combined works of Biggie, Ghost, Rae, Meth, Tupac, Clipse and my nigga Big Baby Jesus all playin' in the kitchen while I baked this shit up. Protect ya neck!
So, our Ozzy tickets arrived and we got so excited we ran round the flat playing Breaking All The Rules on badminton racquets (this is standard procedure in our house anyway) and Brunch was jumping up and down on the coffee table until this happened. I'm sure Ozzy would think we were pussies, he's done far crazier shit. Oh and the new Necro Christmas album arrived so it was shades on and hoods up all the way. Finally got to see Incantation on Saturday night. They were fucking amazing and Rach was a good sport coming along and fetching me beer while they played. Thanks baby! French couldn't make it as his bird's mum split her head open and he had to take her to A+E. It wasn't quite right in the Underworld without him - nobody to smash glasses over my head. I suppose in dealing with one head injury he was prevented from causing any on me. They were so sick and finished with Profanation which had the old bastards like me happy as larry. Lezzer poser bend-lords need not watch this clip. The Hove Warrior was there (so was The Kett Warrior!) and gave me a look at his Suffocation and Cannibal Corpse tatts. This is unprecedented access to one of the world's most enigmatic figures. I was psyched. After that we went to meet Wilko and co in the Social for a few drinks. Bear in mind Rach and I had been in a death metal gig since 6pm we were already wasted before we got there. Sorry everyone! OK, and today (Sunday) we went to Itsu for lunch and inadvertantly spent £90!! French says he spends an average of 10 quid a week on food and rarely eats out so we could have fed him for 9 weeks for the price of our lunch. Whoops!
