Soronga now know's mum-orangutang strong tearing ah ha ha ha!!

I know this will mean a big round 'fuck-all' to nearly everyone except me but this is one of the funniest things I've seen in years. Nukkafago are quite probably the best band never to have existed EVER!

"Destructing God from behind"

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!

I don't need no doctor.

Digital shredding anyone?

Skullfucking Armageddon.

I finally, after waiting about 100 years, got to see Impiety the other night. They played with Watain (more on them in a minute) at the Fridge in Brixton - 2 minutes from my old flat! Typical!

Anyway, they were fucking crushing and anyone who doesn't think so is a total homme-lord who likes balls near his face.

Watain on the other hand...I don't even know where to start. French and I left after half of the first song. They've turned into Cradle Of Filth with all kinds of stage props and pyros. It was so gay. Bearing in mind they started life named after a Von song. SO lame.

And Tuesday was the Nike video premiere. Nugget got started with the bro-mance before we even got to the cinema.

And Tura was in the hiz-ouse! Bonnet du Douche!




Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha !!!! This made me laugh so hard. P-Rod must have been psyched to meet DT.




Not to be outdone I got one of me with Danny Supa. We talked about the Wu-Tang for a bit. I think he liked my 'tache.



Tozer showed up.


Dan shows his appreciation for the DJ dropping that Peter, Bjorn and John tune.

All I said was "look what that says!!!" - I didn't expect this!





Told you Nugz was a hugger.


Mind you, so is Joel. I think I had him on my back for a bit on the dancefloor.

Awwww Hops! The post snog glow.

Mall grab.


The flash fucked this up...

...It was a dick with one ball! Sick!

Found some left over Berlin snaps.



And what's at the top of the Reichstag? A skate spot, obviously. Might be a bust though.

So might the monument to murdered WW2 jews. Shame - it's the mother of all ledge spots.



And this is the site of Hitler's bunker. It's buried now under the grass and the car park. Have you seen Downfall? It's dope.

Black metal "The Opera"??

Oh, and here's some video of Necros Christos from Berlin too. They smashed it.

Shoes on my feet - Alf Garnett.

In Berlin I hung out with these Italian dudes who had this metal drinking club thing.

Here's me with Ryan from Conqueror/Blasphemy and his bird Sarah. I'm officially a pro-ho.

Italian Larry (well, I thought he looked like Larry anyway.)


Bestial Raids.


Blasphemophager. They finished up with Sex, Drinks and Metal by Sarcofago and this dude Pete Thownsend'd his bass (that doesn't mean he looked at child porn with it).

This is how I feel inside.

Grave Miasma.




Proclamation.



Sadomator.



Necros Christos. They pretty much blew everybody else out of the water. Hard to think of a better death metal band around today.




I wonder why the British embassy has a street closed off around it with security checks at either end? It can't be anything to do with us being the world's (second?) biggest cunts? Can it?

Infinity scares the shit out of me.

So I went to see what's left of the wall.


Nobody ever tells you it's actually a bank-to-wall!

Notice how the east Germans got the side you can skate. They did build it after all.

And I think this is the only bit of the secondary wall that's left. Imagine jumping the first one and being faced with another one. Not to mention the guard dogs and blokes with machine guns.

Great name for a band.



I went to the Zoo. This lion threw a right tantrum and roared really loud, it was gnarly. He ate his meat and then wanted to get in to the females cage but the door was locked. He was like "Right I've had my tea, now I wanna fuck!"

I beat this Tiger in a staring competition. I won. Pussyole!

Throughout the zoo there were little cobbled bowls in the cages. The animals would need at least 59's to shred these things, they're far too rough.













Far more eyecatching than any big cat is German fashion.

Look at her husbands face - he's saying "Yeeeeeah, you like my frau huh? She looks hot shit in blue!"




They have a statue of Robin from Cleveland/Stockton/where ever it is.



Fos - this is what I need for filming lines.

Best art I've ever seen. French take note.


They had LFA in Titus.

And a fucking fingerboard park outside.



I know, if you're bald but you've got one long dread why not wrap it round your head so you look like a turd?

I don't know what "Wanker" was but I wish I'd bought it.