Ass 'n' titties, Ass 'n' titties, Ass, Ass, Titties, Titties, Ass 'n' titties.

There are currently two thing making me piss myself with laughter. One of them is Uli Jon Roth. A while ago I got sent a cd of his interpretation of Vivaldi's The Four Seasons which had me rolling on the floor for days until gave it to Dan for his birthday (if you love something, let it go - even if it is the funniest thing you've ever been sent by an embarrassing German record label). Uli Jon ist German, in case you hadn't guessed from the pictures, and is quite clearly mad as a badger. His guitar isn't just a guitar - it's a Transcendental Sky Guitar. I strongly suggest that you watch this video so that you too can join me in needing clean underwear. It's about 60mb so give it a few minutes to load - I assure you it's more than worth it. My roomie Rich just said he looks like "a danger to the public".

Oh and I just found out that he's playing Wacken next week!!!! Yes!! There is a god! (I'm going too, did I mention that already?)

It may be years until the day my dreams will match up with my pay

A couple of days in London filming for Landscape and Heroin. Too hot for skateboarding but mad dogs and Englishmen...



This new park near Canary Wharf should, according to the builders there, be finished by the weekend. Judging by their relaxed work ethic that may not strictly be true. See below. I think one of them was actually asleep.



Nick Jensen is officially a wild man. Look at this picture then check his new Lakai ad.
Just before this train came through the station at Kensington Olympia an announcement came on and started off like "The train approaching platform 2..." - pretty regular. It finished with the sentence "... thousands of Londoners could DIE!". I guess somewhere during those two points everyone at the station worked out that this wasn't an official London Underground announcement. Greenpeace were there protesting against these trains carrying nuclear waste through central London on their way to Sellafield nuclear power station. The announcement worked a treat, fooling everyone that it was a regular one until it turned the corner into an apocalyptic warning. Good job Greenpeace.





Then finally back to Brighton and down to The Globe for Dashal's night there. As the Australians would say I was 'maggot'.

Don't get your back up over this, if i'm so wrong and you're so right.

Beach today with Bruce, Amy, Suzy, Dan, little (very) Jesse and big Mark.












And lastly, I finally found this photo in the loft after thinking i'd lost it for years. I met this guy outside the Dixie Tavern in New Orleans in 2000 (I think) when I was supposed to be watching some crappy bands play. He was far more fun and played me Amazing Grace on one string. He sang too. His voice was the vocal equivalent of playing on one string so it all worked out nicely. I don't have a scanner anymore so this is a photo of a photo. Ghetto huh?

Spiritualized tickets bitch!

Oh shit! I got an email from Spiritualized (and I believe it actually was Jason that sent it, personally - not some underpaid web-jockey with milk bottle glasses) informing me that J-Spaceman is playing some acoustic dates with a string quartet and gospel singers in October! Guess who was straight on the phone ordering tickets for the Brighton date?

I'm so psyched. Maybe coincidentally I've been having a few tender moments with various Spiritualized tracks over the last week or so and the news of a live date has only made my itunes work harder. I think this will be my 4th or 5th time seeing them live...bearing in mind the first time was in 1992 you can see they don't play so often, and appreciate my excitement.

I have Pure Phase on now to celebrate. Oh and if the moment when the choir kicks in on the video clip above doesn't make the hairs on the back of your neck stand up then you might not be alive.

You're the one who looks right through me, now you're saying that you knew me...when I was invisible.

The air needed this rain so badly, the world was starting to get stinky. I worked out the other day that 21 degrees C is the perfect temperature. Not cold enough for extra layers, not hot enough to break a sweat. Anything higher is just wrong. Sick and wrong.

I think I might be on my way up and out of the nigh-on 2 year funk that i've been in. Last night I realised that there is more to life than the old man's pub down the street and made it my mission to go and have a few drinks on the beach. For a long time I've (we've, to include 90% of my local friends) been telling myself that i'm out of Brighton's target audience age and that I'm over clubs and jazzy bars. I may have been wrong. Last night came the first recognisable pangs for some excitement involving somewhere other than the Battle Of Trafalgar. And I did it. I sat on the beach with friends and drank a few glasses (ok, disposable plastic cups) of wine and soaked up the atmosphere on the beach.

OK, so not the most exciting news ever but it was the first thing i've noticed myself have any real enthusiasm for, and put in the slightest effort for, for a very long time.

Yo, yo, check it out, check it out, BOOM! It's time to make some cakes up in this piece! What? What? I got the cake mix, the icing sugar, the cherries, an egg and my gat - what else a nigga need son?
So, i got the cake mix mixed in with the egg and laid them motherfuckers out in the little cases yo. That's mad cakes kid! Yo, there's like 20 or some shit. I gotta get my whole click up in here to DEVOUR this shit, know what i'm sayin'? Damn, son.
Right about now I got 15-20 minutes to kill while them shits bake like cakes. I got this fat bag of Tony I gotta cut before I can move it with my connection in Brooklyn...
YOOOOO! JOOOOOKES KID!! That's just icing sugar, for real son. Damn, you think I'm a discussin' my business on the net? Shit! Yo, I might get a little crazy sometimes on the corner but I ain't a stoopid motherfucker.
Yo, that shit looks real dog! Notice how I threw the bag of cherries in there to confuse the Feds - I know those niggas be checking my blog an' shit. Like my nigga Biggie said I ain't got no info for the D.E.A. - R.I.P. son.
Wooooooord! Motherfuckers be cooked yo! All I gots to do is ice them shits. And I ain't talkin' diamonds kid. Whilst they been cookin', I been mixin'.
Whaaaat? Yo, there ain't enough icing bitch!! What the fuck dog? I mixed that shit just like it said on the motherfuckin' label and there ain't enough to cover all the cakes. Yo, it's lucky they caught me whilst i'm under house arrest or I'm a be gunning for them icing-sugar-packing-motherfuckers at the factory. Fortunately they gave me crazy cherries so I got enough to put two on each of these niggas. Nah, I ain't a greedy motherfucker, I'll save 'em for some next shit.

Yo, I'd like to thank my whole area for having my back and holding down the streets for me while i'm baking care of business on lockdown, know what i'm sayin'? My niggas Bruce and Amy for donating the cake baking kit, one love. My man Richie-J, smoking blunts and chilling in his room during his day off - grab a cake roomie! My niggas Ghostface and Biggie for soundtrackin' this whole episode - yo, without your rhymes them shits would never have risen correctly in the oven.

I gotta regulate, go put some greaseproof paper over the motherfuckers before my kitchen be swarming with mad flies.
2006 kid. I'm out.

p.s.

Oh yeah, the last few pics have been taken on this new camera phone that i got yesterday. The quality isn't all that but it's kind of useful when you've forgotten your camera and you're in the pub beer garden and a grasshopper lands on your friend's arm/drink/face. And it does this face distorting thing that will never get old.

Lazy days, Galang-a-lang-a-lang...

Easy Breadbin. This week i have been mostly sitting in my pants and editing. The Paris and Normandy footage is all dig'd and organised, ready to cut and the NY and Boston footage is nearly done too.

Apart from that it's been too damn hot to do, well, anything for the last few days. I re-watched Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind yesterday and realised i'm still completely in love with Clementine. Not necessarily Kate Winslet as such, although she is pretty cute, but Clementine the character. If you don't get why I can't explain it to you, but she's pretty much perfect in her imperfections.

Oh and today I was swimming at the beach with Bruce and these drunk scots bagheads sat behind us and damn near drowned their friend. She was super frail and took about 10 minutes to crawl out of the water when she fell over. The other female in their party kept ranting about her only having six months to live and to ignore everyone laughing at her. Nobody was.

Photos.

Quick crappy post about having just shoved loads more pics onto my Flickr album. They're from all over the last year or so and it's waaaay easier to load onto Flickr than it is to put large amounts on here.